Cute barrel-chested vikings

I had to respond to your post. 

Me:

  • Former RPG game designer at Wizards of the Coast. Current freelance writer/editor/whatever. Translation: I can ensure there be dragons.
  • Not carved from granite, but I have been described as cute and barrel-chested Viking. 
  • Also, “The most intimidating vegetarian one is likely to meet.” (I’m an opportunistic carnivore, too, meaning I eat meat occasionally.)
  • Also, “The biggest, hairiest four-year-old I know.”
  • I was a jock, but I am a nerd. I have only a yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do, so Vin will kick my ass after I give him poor advice.
  • I know some orc strippers. It’ll be hard to convince them to listen to Kanye West at any price.
  • I drink precisely the amount I mean to, just like Gandalf.
  • It’ll take me like a day to pull my shit together.
  • I fail Diplomacy checks with my honesty.

Good Advice

Dear LFG: Sorry that I can’t be one of your groomsmen, as I’m a very happily married gamer chick.  Still, after seeing your ad, I gotta say I wish you the best of luck, and if your soon-to-be lady wife is a gamer chick like me, I see a lot of amusement, good memories, and laughs over “I can’t believe you did that” in your future.  A sense of humour is essential in a good marriage. Remember:

  • PvP is no substitute for a good fight every now and again.
  • It’s not about how fast you level, but how you develop your characters along the way.
  • You’re level pacted now - you may occasionally PUG, but that’s as far as it goes.
  • Don’t worry about stats - roleplay with sincerity and you can get by. Lying about dice rolls though means all bets are off.
  • Only in-game is “what’s yours is yours, what’s hers is hers”.
  • It’s not love til you co-mingle the gaming books… and it’s for keeps if you combine your dice.
  • Keeping the base organized does not exempt you from keeping your house neat and hygenic.
  • Rare salvage is always a nice gift, but no substitute for flowers, a hug, and an honest “I love you.” (Unless it’s a purple recipe that she’d kill for.)
  • Always remember there is a difference between you and your character… and her and HER character.
Here’s hoping you guys hit 50. :)

Meeting and surpassing quotas

Dude,

You just raised the geek/nerdiness quotient of the already geeky/nerdy
Craiglist by at least a whole percentage point.

Kudos to you and good luck on your wedding.

Ha! Thank you much sir!
I hope craigslist sends me an award for such a feat, and i hope its printed in ASCII characters.

Nice assets

First off, I live in Chicago. I’m sure that immediately rules me out.
I just wanted to say how your post was awesome and hilarious. Well,
I’m going to ‘apply’ anyways.

I know I’d be an amazing groomsman because…
-I have d20’s tattooed on my chest
-I have the Cobra (of GIJoe villainy) symbol tattooed on my left ass cheek
-I currently GM a cyberpunk game, D&D game, steampunk game, and World
of Darkness game
-I drew this: [Ed. Note: Image below. I was given permission to post the link to his other handiwork here: http://www.mosingo.com/]
-I’ve broken my thumbs, middle fingers, and nose
-I used to be a bouncer / bartender
-My full first name is Jameson, which happens to be my favorite
whiskey (but not in a vain ‘i’m drinking myself’ way)
-I make an excellent wing man

That does it. As I mentioned, I’m sure living in Chicago takes me out
of the running. Funny thing is, I’ve been wanting to move to Seattle
for years. I completely fell in love with that city when I went to PAX
back in the day. Take care, best of luck finding your groomsmen.

I’m going to pretend that you broke your thumbs, middle fingers and nose while tattooing your own ass with the Cobra tattoo because that shit would be hardcore awesome.

The thumbs / middle finger story is not one that can be described via
email. I need puppets, someone dressed as a jedi, and a  frostmourne
replica to tell it accurately.

No, no. My hat off to you sir

First of all, let me say congratulations!  You have performed the mighty feat of snatching up one of the all-to-rare nerd chicks, and I take my hat off to you.  Being another one similarly blessed, I can assure you that the life awaiting you on the other side of the altar is AWESOME.

In any case, I read your posting and I must say that I am impressed!  I think that your plans sound amazing, and I want to know more.  I must confess that my D&D gaming has been a bit less frequent since moving away from my old group, but I’m all for the chance to dust off my leather-bound PHB and break out the Yahtzee cup.

I’m a facilities manager, which is a prestige class for maintenance men.  I spend many hours playing RPGs and co-op  video games with my wife, and we love gaming whenever we get the chance.  I’ve both run and played in all kinds of crazy systems, but primarily D&D, Shadowrun, various World of Darkness travesties, Heroes, and a tad bit of GURPS and Big Eyes.  My favorite anime is Ruroni Kenshin, closely followed by Trigun.  I always crafted my own boffer weapons while I was still boffering, but I never larped.  We just ran around in the park and whacked each other with big foam bats.  For that matter, my wife and I craft our own awesome perfumes and lotions, many of which are nerd themed.  Check it out:  www.firelightfusions.etsy.com.

I’d like to remain a lady…

[Ed. Note: Names redacted and replaced with celebrity names for privacy]

Here’s what some of my friends have said while encouraging me to apply:

Rihanna: ”Captain Picard cleans up well. He recognizes stupid ideas and I believe he can slap them out of a stressed groom”

Paris: ”Captain Picard is a man of distinction and integrity. His nerdiness scares me, his vocabulary is stunning and he can be quite hilarious. His warm smile comforts me, his steely glare strikes fear in my heart and his honey toned voice … well, I’d like to remain a lady, so let’s just say I like it a lot.”

Madonna: “Captain Picard would be a great groomsman.  He is sensible, trustworthy, and rolls 20’s when you need them most.  His golden beard will reflect a flattering light in your direction, ensuring you look your best on your special day.  He can put away the beer and scotch alike, and still be up in the morning to help you iron your tux. I highly endorse Patrick for this esteemed position”

I’m not sure what I can add except I am somewhat proficient with a rapier and I own a chainmaille dice bag (or rather, I will when my girlfriend finishes making it!)

I am located in Vancouver which may present some challenges but D&D is mostly portable.

You have some special ladies in your life who seem to think very highly of you. If they are available, you should probably marry them - pending that one of them already isn’t your girlfriend.
Vancouver is just a hop skip and jump and D&D is indeed portable. Since I got so many awesome responses, i’m trying to pull together a game day of sorts at a local gaming store so everyone can meet and high five each other for awesome responses. I’ll keep you posted.

Another heartwarming thanks

As female, I don’t qualify.

However, as gamer… I want to wish you the very best of luck.

And as human, I’d like to wish you and your lady a long, happy life full of amazing adventures together.

Why is the rum gone?

I Have the Module with the Drunk as Shit Vikings, Gyrating orc Strippers and Even a Goblin Nympho Thrown In, I may Have to add a Dragon Or twelve, But that should be No Problem.  Now All I gotta do is get to seattle for the Wedding Event of the Century!  Complete with D20 rolls of Death!
  
“But why is the Rum Gone?”

Damn sexy and ultra nerdy

Fucking hilarious!  On that note, I have 2 fine young men ready and willing to
do the job!  My fiance and brother.  Perhaps not chiseled out of stone, but damn
sexy and ultra nerdy!!!!

[Ed. Note: Names redacted for privacy but I was informed the pronunciation is just like the name of a candy bar]

Hello Like the Candy Bar,
Excellent! Damn sexy and ultra nerdy do seem to the right caliber we’re looking for. I’m currently in the process of partnering with a local gaming store to host tryouts because I got sizable amount of applicants. And by tryouts, I mean an excuse to meet up with everyone, high five each other for being awesome nerds and then going to the bar across the street. 
Thanks for the kind words!

Newcastle

I’m not applying for the job, but I just had to tell you this is just
awesome! I’m engaged and I told my best man that this is the
bachelor’s party I want. Swank suite optional, and please sub
Newcastle for Old English (yes, I know, Newcastle doesn’t come on
40’s, but I much prefer it *chuckle*). And I told my fiancee, who
forwarded the ThinkGeek link to me, “I have cufflinks. I have d20’s. I
can get superglue…”

On behalf of D&D playing geeks everywhere, thank you!